nowhere to journey but west
I write to you from somewhere high above Saskatchewan, just returning from a week-long vacation. I’ve got pictures to show you and stories to tell you - so here you go.
I’ve always been afraid of what I would find in British Columbia. I have based my worldview firmly within the ways of eastern North America. The Atlantic ocean feels like home, the higher density of people, the world that is older but not the Old World. Everything much closer together - you can make it to the coast in less than a day, and it’s a 3 hour drive to a few major cities. The journey out west has always felt like too much of a voyage. It felt anticlimactic to spend so many hours in a plane just to find myself still in the same country, on top of the excessive price of airfare. Even though it’s easy to accept those as my main reasons for never travelling here, I’m aware that there were other emotions at play.
Once, many years ago now, I was offered a full-expenses paid trip to Vancouver. This is the sort of opportunity I would never have declined, had it been destined for anywhere else. For some reason, back then, I outright refused. I had no decent explanation for it. There was no vendetta, there was no disdain for the culture, there was sincerely nothing holding me back. In knowing what I know now about myself, I had focused too hard on my outward worldview. I had always wanted to take flight internationally at any and all opportunities. I didn’t want anything in Canada to hold me back. I was afraid that something would give me a reason to stay.
I knew even all those years ago that I would love BC.
sometimes you make a friend
If you know anything about my life, you might know about my friend Leon. I have very little description I can offer you in text form. You must experience him in the flesh in order to truly get a sense of the person he is. If I can offer a mediocre explanation, he is magnetic, endlessly in pursuit of life, and a fantastic conversation partner. I am blessed to know him and to call him a friend.
We met six years ago, in Toronto, a city that neither of us are from. Our friendship has been built over the world’s stupidest text messages, earnest phone calls, and visits to the east coast, Montreal, London (once) and NYC (three times). Once Leon headed back to his hometown, it was only a matter of time before I flew out to BC to visit him. Over the last few years, my avoidance of BC has honestly been a bit ridiculous. I have postponed coming here over 3 times, I have procrastinated every part of the flight booking, the trip planning and even the packing. There is no way I would have ever pushed past the mental block of coming here if not for Leon and his very conniving ways. As always, the universe seemed to be on his side. It was the right timing.
I remind myself that this used to be a travel blog
I’ll tell you quickly that this trip should in no way be considered a fundamental guide to BC. It was an entirely self-indulgent trip in which I did little to no major sightseeing and mainly meandered, wandered, meditated and tried to annoy Leon whenever he wasn’t working (a real and true honest to God vacation).
It should be noted that it felt like the general theme of this trip was rooted in general themes of memory, ancestry, and cycles of time. It was a trip for reflection, a sort of homecoming to a place I had never been. We often chatted about past Leon and Sam, two people who don’t exist anymore, and how they had absolutely no clue about where these past few years were going to lead. While we zoomed around, Leon served as an incredible hometown guide. Across Vancouver and Vancouver Island, he shared tidbits of history from his years growing up here, insights into how these places had changed over time, and even took me around to some ancestral places of significance. At every little moment, it felt like I was being made to reflect on where I had been and where I wanted to go. Thinking about what type of person I hope I will have the good fortune to be. Pondering all the future versions of myself: as a student (again), as a lawyer (maybe), as a geographer (hopefully), as a mother (big question mark on that one), as a journalist (hmm), as a writer (I think I can call myself one). I have had many run-ins here with elderly folks, something that doesn’t happen to me so often in my life as I might wish, which have made me think very deeply about the relationships I am building now. On both the flights I have been on I have encountered parents taking care of their children in ways that are admirable, I have seen babies having the time of their lives, I have seen toddlers overwhelmed by the weight of the world. I have been seeing, and I mean really noticing, all of these people in the world around me, taking the good and leaving the bad behind. These cycles of life are all around, and I know I’m so stuck in my own head sometimes I forget to take a look at it all.
Now you’re in my head, I think. So here’s what I did, with all that circling around me.
vancouver island
We rented a car and took off for the island over the weekend. Driving straight into the lower deck of the Spirit of Vancouver Island ferry felt so theatric and mighty, like the most picturesque start to an adventure (Leon tells me that they deliberately use the more impressive entrance to the boat on voyages departing from Vancouver to appease the Instagrammers). The ferry to the island is about 1hr 40mins long, but the time seems to fly by between parking the car, getting the food, eating the food, darting around the top part of the ship to take photos and gaze at the ocean, and stopping by the gift shop. There’s a section of the voyage where the boat goes right up beside some of the smaller islands. It’s been snowy and grey where I’m from, so the deep green of these islands seemed extra magical. In combination with the mist and homes on the landscape, I felt like I had walked into a folk tale.
mist on the pacific
In watching the landscape, I felt like I was fully breathing for the first time in a long time. I think I can honestly say that I took the freshest and crispest breaths I had ever taken in my whole life.
After no time at all, we were already on the island. Leon took me through some backroads and told me stories of his childhood. The light shone through the trees in a way that felt almost artificial with how beautiful it was. It also produced my favourite weather phenomenon - sun showers. I can’t ever get enough of them.
Before long, we made it to Victoria, where the rain really started to pour. In the final moments before the downpour we made it to Mile 0 of the Trans-Canada Trail, the start (or end, depending) of the trail system that takes you all the way from one coast of this country to the other. I’ve been to the other side of the trail in Nova Scotia, and I grew up riding my bike on quite a few other sections of the trail. I took a moment to reflect on the vast expanse of this country, and thought about how our political systems could ever accurately represent such a diverse and complicated nation. Jury’s still out on any solutions to that dilemma.
Hanging out on the rocks!
In town, we stopped at the BC Museum and took in a bunch of good vintage shops, ate ice cream (strawberry - yay), and got dinner & breakfast at two places that were very regular and thus I will not name them. Victoria is a city where it felt like everyone was either an 18yr old first year university student or retirement aged. Similar vibes to Key West, Florida. Maybe there is something about islands that just appeals to people like this.
i just really like Him (Sunfish)
On Sunday, we attempted a cold plunge but failed, and stopped at Sea Cider before jumping on the ferry. I particularly enjoyed being in Saanich, which I have always wondered about. Saanich—Gulf Islands is the only riding in the country which has consistently elected a Green Party member of Parliament. Seeing it, I understand why. This place is so gorgeous, I think its inhabitants would fight very hard to protect its beauty forever.
Saanich vibes fr
I cried again on the ferry back (everything was really beautiful, ok), and then we very unceremoniously went home and I passed out for like 14 hours.
Vancouver
While we still had the rental car, I got the full tour of Steveston, Richmond and Delta, all suburbs of Vancouver. We got Timothy’s Frozen Yogurt which was easily one of the best Froyos I have ever had. I also got to see the place where that kid almost got eaten by a sea lion a few years ago. There’s signage now.
All around, I was very kindly welcomed into homes, got to pet the world’s sweetest dog (her name was Mango), and got to see a bunch of chickens. We went to White Spot, which I’m told is sort of a BC institution, where we were the only diners under the age of seventy and they played Guns and Roses very loudly. Say what you will about how big and different this country is, but I am comforted in the fact that you will find restaurants like this in every possible hamlet, town and city. Highlight of my meal was the elderly lady who approached me to ask if I liked prawns. This is a great conversation opener and I will be using it moving forward.
Leon also threw a housewarming / birthday party where I got to meet some very lovely people (hello! if you’re reading this), and I got to reconnect with some dear mutual friends I have not seen in a while. All in all a great time, where I laughed so hard I cried on more than one occasion.
By Monday though, the car was no more. And so, armed with my Compass Card and very impractical shoes, I took free roam of the city. Monday was my day to meditate. I have had much to think about lately. I walked all the way through Stanley Park, past all the beaches, and I had a delightful lunch at the Tea Room which ended up being way fancier than I thought it would be (though it seems that people in BC find hoodies and jeans to be appropriate just about everywhere). I swung on the swings at Second Beach (creative name. It is the 2nd of 3 beaches). It was bright and sunny and warm. I felt that I could think. I felt very very free.
That evening culminated in a visit to Joe Forte’s (more below) where we were treated well (Leon knows everyone who has ever lived, it seems). We ended a very successful St. Patty’s day with friends S & O at a bar in Gastown that only played Great Big Sea (St. Pattys is a Newfie holiday before it is an Irish holiday).
The next morning I finally succeeded at doing a cold plunge at Kitsilano Beach with the encouragement of my friend M. The water couldn’t have been more than 4 degrees, and while I dunked my head fully underwater, M very impressively lasted much longer in the water. She gave me a lovely tour of the area and showed me a great coffee spot. M is the sort of person who makes me very excited about life, and while our conversations are not as frequent as I’d like them to be, I always walk away in admiration of her insight and her true sense of adventure.
Like I said, there are no other big tourist attractions I can write to you about. I didn’t go to Science World or the Vancouver Art Gallery. Instead I walked about 40km total during my time in Van, and saw everything from Mount Pleasant to UBC to residential neighbourhoods, to North Van & the Waterfront. My highlights included:
Neptoon Records
One of the record stores where Nardwuar does some of his interviews, so I had to check it out. An absolutely fabulous selection of records, and I had zero room in my carry-on bag for anything, but if I did I would have lost my mind at this store. Great curation of new and used records, and filled with people who seemed very local and very excited about the store’s new selection of tapes.
Joe Forte’s
Leon took me here for what I can only describe as one of the most classic seafood dining experiences. It was my first time eating Pacific salmon and it was the best ambiance ever to eat it in. This place feels so 20th century classic, with kind service, really classic meals and a live piano player. Upstairs near the bathroom they have photos of tons of the celebrities that have eaten here over the years. If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll sit where Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron once sat.
GD’s Very Awesomely Curated Bar Crawl
On my last night in Van, my friend GD took me around to some really sweet bars for my final send off. All of them were delightful and treated us well (definitely due in equal parts to GD’s natural charisma & connections to the bartending industry). I would recommend each of these places, but the experience is definitely enhanced when you get to spend time with a person as epic as GD, so bring your favourite buds along with you.
- Meo : This is a lovely, well-decorated lounge that would make anyone feel very fancy. It’s Vancouver though, so jeans are welcome. I had a delicious mezcal and strawberry milk based drink and their Matcha Highball was soooo good.
- Laowai : A speakeasy with a password. Go to the door guy and ask for the #7 and you’ll be let in to a top tier bar with a video game themed menu. I’m extremely biased on this one - but the bartenders are very cool.
- Keefer : Late night spot with the most delicious espresso martini I have ever tried, with salted caramel and sesame. GD and I split the Chinese Churros which I thought were going to be sacrilegious but instead were absolutely sublime.
the espresso martini in question. warning: they infuse cinammon in their water and lowkey it made me think my glass was dirty when i took a sip but nope it was intentional
If you check any of these places out, let me know. If you’ve got more suggestions on the places I should head to next time I’m in Vancouver, I would also love to know :)
standing at the precipice
I took off this morning, begrudgingly. It is a strange thing to have resisted coming to a place for so long, only to find that it completely filled my heart and left me wanting more. It has been a long time since I have loved a city so dearly.
I am taking the peace that I found in Vancouver and trying to hold onto it through these next few months. I have found something beautiful, and despite my fears, I now have an opportunity to act. I am thinking very hard about the life or lives I am choosing. I don’t think the fear can catch me anymore.
Before leaving the cities I have loved, I have a habit of purchasing a public transit card and leaving just enough money on it to get me from the local airport to the city centre - as a promise to myself that I will return. Now, beside my Oyster Card, my MetroCard and my Paris Métro Ticket, you will find my Compass Card - ready for what comes next.
love and hugs,
sam
Special Thanks: Leon, GD, M, O, S, N, & B.
and hey: thanks for being here, reader. feel free to email me and let me know what you thought. there’s a contact page & a guestbook up top.