a saturday in october

25 Oct, 2025

It's been three entire months since I had no plans on a weekend. I've been trying to outrun my own negative thoughts by staying busy. It's weird to have a blank Saturday morning with no obligations or nuisances. The last few months I've either been away from home or recovering from a Friday night or going out for a long run as part of the running training I apparently do regularly now. I woke up at like 7 with a pinched heart of anxiety and then remembered I had no real reason to be awake so I passed out again and woke up at noon. After thirty minutes of laying about I remembered why I'm so busy most days and it is indeed because I get horrifically bored just sitting in my house. Decided quickly that the best way to move ahead today was to go for a drive.

Facetimed Leon while getting ready, he was awake early for his timezone, heading off to some appointment. Talked about teenagers with learner's permits who sing loudly in their vehicles. Talked about my upcoming travel to [REDACTED FOR PRIVACY]. Quickly dry shampooed my hair and left the house.

The fall colours are probably a week away from entirely disappearing, only the electric orange trees and the bright red maples are still kicking around. It's not uncommon for one side of the road to be fired up with colours while the other side already looks dead in preparation for winter. I haven't gone to do any of the fall hiking I said I was going to do so I'm trying to take in the beauty of the season before it disappears. In typical fall fashion I decided to head out to a cider place in the boonies, and I took the long back roads all the way there. The roads are horribly narrow and made of dirt, but it makes me feel closer to the leaves and therefore closer to their beauty. Whatever municipal government is responsible for the roads has obviously told the local people to go fuck themselves because there's such an ungodly level of potholes that I'm genuinely surprised to not see a discarded tire anywhere. Halfway to my destination, I see a guy on the road walking his black lab. At the sound of my car approaching he cranes his neck around and gives me a friendly wave. This casual waving upon an encounter on a rural road is so common in these parts, and its something I miss dearly when traveling away from here. My window's open, so I slow down in an effort to not cover this guy and his dog in my car's kicked up dirt, and I give him the "stick up your hand but don't move your wrist" type of greeting with my arm resting on the windowsill. Lately I've been dreaming about driving around a Ford Maverick - I've seen a few dozen on the roads and it's such a sweet truck. The dark green colour is so perfect but I'm gonna have to wait a few years until I can find one of these used at a reasonable price.

The cider place hasn't changed since I was last here with Brie in April, other than the weeping willows are still holding on and the farm has taken on a delightful autumnal quality. I pick up two bottles of mulled cider (I woke up with a Craving) and take off pretty quickly.

It's sunny but I've got my rainy driving playlist going which still works pretty well because I think "rainy driving" is more of a mood than it is a weather. A couple singles played from the album Echoes by the Rapture. House of Jealous Lovers really is one of the greatest songs of all time. Rolling Stone or somebody put out a top 500 singles of the 21st century list recently and I recall House of Jealous Lovers being on there and the commentor writing something to the effect of "no other artist since has been able to match this indie-sleaze classic, despite their best efforts" and I do genuinely agree. There's so much from the 00s NYC alt rock scene that is very dear to me but the GUITAR and the cowbell on this track is unbelievable. Luke Jenner's voice is also so powerful, and part of what makes that entire song exist on an entirely different plane of music is his crazy emotional screaming and his otherwordly semi-androgynous voice. Something very glam about it, and the headbanger-ness of the entire thing hasn't really been matched by anything else I've been able to find. Lots of interesting history on how the guys from the Rapture got sort of screwed over when they made that track… highly recommend the Meet Me In The Bathroom book and documentary for more insanity from that era of music.

Other tracks from that playlist:

• Future Perfect by the Durutti Column

• Paradise by Sade

• Guinnevere by Crosby, Stills & Nash

I found Future Perfect because of the show The Bear, I think it's in season 2 when they do a montage of Sydney (Ayo Edebiri) taking transit around Chicago to go and learn from a bunch of upscale restaurants. The song caught my ear mostly because of the female vocals with the layered lyrics in the chorus, it's ethereal and not something I've heard so prominently on many tracks. Been listing to a lot of Neil Young and CSN for the last couple years during this current State of the World. Their music reminds me of how we tend to live in ever-repeating political cycles. Rockin in the Free World is a track I've listened to almost everyday for a while, a good reminder to keep moving forward despite the terror! Realizing while writing this that I've never actually looked into what the song Guinnevere is about, so I'm gonna look it up now.¹

Listening to my tunes brought me all the way to this small town near the connecting rivers. It's packed here today, the film crews have found out about the charm of this place and they've started filming Hallmark/Lifetime Christmas movies here and I think it's turned up on lists of "cutest local small towns you have to see at least once". I grabbed the last table at a coffee shop and that's where I sit writing this to you with my dirty chai in hand. It's really lovely to have a day to just be calm and meander and not consider anyone or anything else. Planning to leave here and go assemble some sort of dinner and then watch the Jays game.

Tuned in last night and lost my mind during the sixth inning when the Jays managed to get a grand slam home run (thank you Addison Barger). I learned that Alejandro Kirk is the first Mexican to ever hit a homerun during the World Series, which is a great little fun fact and honestly surprising given the number of Mexicans in baseball. The one unfortunate thing about this series is that it's sort of hard to hate the Dodgers. Shohei Ohtani, despite being the greatest baseball superstar of all time, is remarkably humble and likeable. Freddie Freeman's parents are Canadian and he had a great media clip of him the other day talking about how being back in Toronto made him feel closer to his deceased mother. How can you hate that guy? Sports are awesome and there has been such an electric energy to life these past few weeks as the Jays have flown their way into the World Series. Doesn't matter how negative a conversation you might be having with somebody, there's always an excited "Are you watching the Jays???" before you walk away. This is what sports are all about and I am enfatuated by the romance of it all. Every time they pan the camera on the crowds you can see that Jays fans are made up of people with ancestry from all over the world, of all ages. My fingers are crossed that the magic of their game doesn't run out. On the dirt roads today I had a blue jay fly by my window, so my hope is that this is a good omen.

That's been my Saturday for you…I always love reading other bloggers' slice of life posts, so I'm glad I finally had the opportunity to contribute one of my own for once. Maybe more of these in the future...